Its just going to be as easy as life is...and she smirked before disappearing into the dark lane
Monday, December 18, 2006
About me....
This post comes at the right time of the year when it is his birthday.
I have as always not planned to do this, but a fellow friend had bugged the hell out of me trying to understand me.
To people who really want to know me, I think the first step would be to know this one fact clearly...apart from parents, sibblings (which everyone has) one person I really cannot exist without is him.
I learnt a few very basics things about life from him. Not that I had not heard about these things but I discovered the new meanings of certain things along with him. The most important one being Love! i learnt to love after having fallen madly in love with him... he explained to me that there is so much more to the word than the usual "I love you way, we youngsters take it to be". I got to know it is about romance, about devotion, complete and selfless devotion. It is about music, photographs, colours and most importantly its about using words carefully. I think I am writing too much.
But I really learnt to live and enjoy life with him, along with him. I see the pains he took to make me what I am, and more what he gave me the strength to dare things that I can be.
I remember the times when painfully taught me the word 'threshold' and 'pirolignus acid' and 'constitution' and 'topography' and 'dumrus' and ofcourse the magic word 'marquez'. I hope and (do not wish) that I have spealt them correct atleast after some 9 years now.
it's been long that I said this but I really love and miss you.
P.S - I think I have embarrased you. have I?
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
To The Legendary Voice....To Begum Akhtar!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Kill Bill... an essay that I wrote in 11 mintues!
It is difficult for a person like me to pick and choose one movie over and above all the rest that I have seen in my entire life and say that ‘this was the best’. Perhaps it’s a difficult job for anybody, as it is for me. However, right now when I think of one movie that I really enjoyed watching the only name that I can think of is Quentin Torentino’s ‘Kill Bill’.
The movie is a relic we need to watch it to understand what the limits are that a director can reach up to in cinema. It is the height of creative imagination, something that normal human beings can only dream about. With the entire storyline based on a woman, Torentino definitely goes on to achieve what we would call the threshold of feminism and revolution. Uma Thurman, the protagonist does a near perfect job in bringing to life what the director only visualized and hoped for, be it her killing expressions, body language, or the fight sequences, Thurman masters the art of internalizing the character. The movie begins on a very serious note, but Torentino takes it to the realm of the unimaginable with Thurman like a devil slashing heads off, and blood oozing out like a fountain. All these details might seem gory but when you watch them, they are nothing but spectacular. The scenes are beautifully shot, and the technology used only ads to its perfection. I personally would suggest all movie buffs to watch the movie, if not for anything else but at least to understand what a spoof is all about and how a director can do it with so much style that the audience forgets all about the spoof and thinks about it as a classic piece of cinema.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Killing and Dying are the same at times...
Nights
No more have stories
That you do not know
And so
Nothing in me I have
That interests you
And I cannot hold you back.
Will you smile if I got back the river, that
Flew away from our steps
Or will the stories already told
keep you at bay?
I ask
Will you stay?
The morning is so empty
No rustling bed sheets
No early morning dew on the glass window
Nothing only reasons for me
Get consumed in your absence
I wish
You would be back
With all that is so full of you
And as you lay your head
On the nights cold pillow
I would remember this time
To put winter under your sleep
So that it covers your body
And consumes you
You will then be a
Cold dead body
With nothing so life like about you
And I who has suffered long
Will mock at your purple cadaver
I wish
You come back…
Thursday, November 23, 2006
This is just beautiful...
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.
We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.
Or rather, be passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.
We paused before house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.
Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.
P.S. - This poem is written by emily Dickinson. I posted it here, cause (i might sound like praising myself) I just could not ignore the striking resemblance between this poem of hers and the way I write always. The imagery, the way she has chosen the words, the shape and structure of the poem and so much more, reminded me of how I write, not as good ofcourse. Perhaps resemblances like these to great poets makes me still stick to the dream of writing well someday...I wish I could. Amen!
RE:Can I use the banned word?
Let me be all hush-hush while I use it. If someone hears me using it, who knows the next thing they do is hang me...
finally the much debated, hated, and contemplated a word appears in my blog...F E M I N I S M !
Watched Paromita Vohra's documentary "unlimited girls", good I would say for the issues that it raises. Is feminism an ideology for ugly women?
Isn't being a woman reason enough to be a feminist?
Do we have to know the history and everything that went into getting FEMINISM the platform where it stands today?
Agreed one needs to know, but perhaps one cannot dismiss somebody just because s/he hasn't read the literature on feminism.
Whatever!
It's surprising how somebody in her interview said that she is afraid to have freedom, cause at the end of the day it leaves her tired of the social structure. Is it enough for women like me and anybody reading this that Feminism today functions perfectly well just in our lives? Do not we need to push it further so that it reaches to lives of all women? Shall we happily wrap up our mouths and mumble things that only we can hear, and be happy and 'thankful' of the situation we are in today? Is it enough to say that it is necessary that women be emancipated and let others fight for the cause? And in the end of it all say something like
"these Feminists are here to create Chaos !"
Sigh! lastly do we accept any and everything in the name of a culture that teaches us to be filth and nothing more?
do we
do we
do we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s.- the pic was found in a blog I read.
Monday, November 20, 2006
and suddenly it dies...
long lost dusty feet
return home
on a foggy blue noon
the silly dance and celebrations
choke them to death
no footsteps to traceback the homecoming
no shattered glasses and
the smell of cheap liquor
no beaten backs with rashes
no moaning
no gathering
not even the usual flies
what do we call them
the mourning flies?
I guess let them be the yellow butterflies
not even them to show her lost presence
what could he hold on to afterall?
he rushed back with the mad dance
and took with him the mad, celebrating loneliness
this time
careful to leave back a few tiered footsteps
atleast she if she comes back,
Marichiko could trace him back...
but suddenly the wish dies
and withers in the dusty corners
silent, ages
and pales
and dies again
he looks back for it
and asks
did you keep it safe?
Friday, November 03, 2006
Of Death and its Demons...
crazy awakenings
the cruel cycle bell
and another man
discharges his lust
rape
rape
rape
hushed, muffled voices
and then
finally a scream
men with moustaches
and women with lathis
debate and hate
over the pain-painted body
writhing like a snake on the ground
before the conclusion
the woman-heart stops beating
silence for a while
men lower their moustaches
women their lathis
they silently discuss
who won, and who lost
between a young boy
let us call him the Son
quietly lowers the body in
a filthy garbage bag
hauls it to the dead end
of the shadowless basti
burns it amidst nilgiri leaves
breathes in the fumes and the last ugliness
of an announced death...
Friday, October 27, 2006
Realisations...
I am scared actually about thinking...it makes me plunge into the sides of me which perhaps I am scared of, which I do nto want to face, which I do not want others to know.
And what is more I like that side of me better, but social constraints do nothing for me to fondle that side of me...
It's just sigh! time I guess.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
To one of those poets whom I ve never had the chance to read
To the few who do not who he is, he is a bangla poet and that is all that I know of him. The best thing is he accidently happened in my life, as out of sheer boredom I agreed to accompany my friends to Ravindra Bhavan and came to find out that it was a kind of a 'Goshthi'. To cut the not so important things I will only write one of most beautiful lines I have ever come across,
"megh balika bhisti hoye ge che.."
which when crudly translated will read something like this,
"the young daughter of clouds has grown up to be fine and beautiful rain..."
I know many Bengalis will object to this translation, but thats how I think it meant.
P.S have been wanting to read more by the same author but not able to get hold of his writings, if anyone can please get it for me. What Hopes I have :)
Sunday, September 17, 2006
What Do I Title This Post As?
So that indeed is long enough.
Another thing that peeps out of these words is about the topic that I am planning or not planning to write on. I can think of nothing right now.
So lemme write about how nothing apart from google has been happening in my life. I go to office, work, have fun, learnt a bit of fussbal, come back and go of to sleep.
thats all that is to my life, but I am enjoying it none the less.
let me postpone writing for now, as nothing good can be written now.
I think I could have named this post as - Nothing!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Sailing to Byzantium
I am getting so used to my Bus journeys that now I have begun to recognize faces, faces that smile, a happy comforting smile even in the most uncomfortable postures, when they see me enter that mass. Faces that perhaps will miss me, when from day after I won’t get on to the bus at my bus stop. Now that I would no more be traveling by these buses, I wish I had a few more days. So this one is to all the pretty, Hyderabad girls with whom I have spent quite some time now, in those crammed spaces, where inspite of being so protective of the spaces entitled to us by the goddess of APSRTC, we have been so very accommodating to others
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Necklace Road - Seetafalmandi
I did not know how she lived her life, how did her hands become so rough that she could no more caress the little child her daughter might have given birth to. I did not know how her feet had become so parched that it hurt to continue walking or perhaps the blood seeping out of the cracks did not bother her of the marks it left on her torn, fragile sari. It did not bother her that people in the compartment preferred standing than sitting next to her. But it bothered me with my urban, educated mentality, seeing her sitting alone, aloof from the whole world. But my presence added nothing to her comfort, perhaps she was used to such pitiful, friendly gestures, which only made her feel more degraded. I realized that her eyes did not complain of the life she had lived. Perhaps I had got it all wrong, I perceived her to be sad, and perhaps she wasn’t all that sad after all. Her eyes did not have sad tales to narrate for her grandchildren; they will be stories of the king who lived a long, lavish life, of the princess who fell in love with a young, poor guy. My station was arriving and I looked more intently at her trying to decipher more of her life and suddenly the train stopped with a jolt, the cannonading sound stopped and a small packet fell out from the old woman’s tattered sari. A cheap green, transparent polythene packet, with a small new plastic elephant in it. Perhaps for the new born grand daughter, she picked it up and wiped the little dirt that had collected on one side of the packet, from one end of her sari. Nestling it safely to where it was, she for once looked up at me and smiled meanwhile the train had reached where I had to get down. Walking back to my hostel room, I no more gave a look of pity to the people living in the slums just opposite the huge gate of my institute.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
In Conversation:Part I
Shyamalee: hi dear...
Solan: busy kya?
Shyamalee: No dear... not at all for you...
Solan: ok tell me your views on this reservation fiasco
Shyamalee: what to say... though as an instrument I am very much for it...I can also smell the dirty politics behind it.
Solan: leave the politics but as such are u against it. Do you think India does not need reservation?
Shyamalee: No... I think India needs reservations
Solan: that’s all na do u think sitting in air conditioned offices and thinking and writing about all these issues is a crime?
Shyamalee: No... What we need a healthy debate...? I too get quite a few mails against reservation. Most of those are based on stupid arguments. I ignore them like Jesus..."forgive them they don't know what they are saying". Of late, I am trying to learn the art of Non-violence... what I understood... it is a very difficult art. Hats up to Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi who practiced it to the core.
Solan: but then, the rate at which these anti- reservation mails reach my inbox from all over, I think any such callous forwards will have a repercussion in the ever so gullible Indian minds. Don't u think so?
Shyamalee: No... This type world is too small in this country. And it is not easy to penetrate the mass in this way. You can wash out only a few fragile minds... not all.. And yours is not among those.
Solan: no m not talking about myself. But others, and though the percentage of people capable of reading such stuff is low, but from amongst these only we hear loud voices na, the mass anyways is not concerned
Shyamalee: And that’s the point of debate.. What we want is let this unconnected mass be a part of it. Then, it does not matter which side they take.
The wonderful thing about this country is its democracy. In last fifty odd years it has only strengthen... I for think so. And the politicians have to connect themselves with this unconnected mass. So its not easy to anti- the policy. So all these noises will turn out to be meaningless at the most.
Solan: are u suggesting that these anti resv. Stuff might go unheard of
Shyamalee: Yaa.. There is no way out....
Solan: haaan? But don't you think the intensity with which things are going will bear no consequences
Shyamalee: This is my feeling... After working with the unconnected people...seeing policy and bureaucracy from close quarters...That’s where the irresponsible politics lies...that distracts the youth from healthy debate. But its, I feel only a transitory phase.
Solan: amen! What else can I say?
Shyamalee: You are not among the one to oppose or support.... you have the duty to understand it...though I know we all live in politics, but, our politics has taught us to be so..
Solan: then who does so?
Shyamalee: partly...activists...others include those fragile minds who are in the herd. We are supposed to learn things. Society to be precise..
Solan: humm
Shyamalee: And as learner we are open to viewpoints…Now you recall what I wrote on your feminism blog...I meant this...
Solan: humm
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I am Losing The Ability To Dream…
My whole world felt numb suddenly. I feel so disturbed.
May be this will make a good beginning of a story, a young girl, with her dusky skin and long black hair that fell on her mauve shirt like waterfall forgets to dream. And suddenly is faced with the harsh reality that life is.
Let’s see when I venture to write further.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
3rd Week At Work.
As the title suggests this is my 18th Day at work. First thing everybody has been asking me,"So are you happy with your work?, satisfied?" As if everybody wants me to say a 'no' , so that ateast they find one person who has the guts to say the ultimate truth. But thats my take on it may be they don't at all mean this.
so finally how do I really feel working?
Yah its fine. I do enjoy working but I also do not enjoy it at times, like when I have to wake up alone at my hostel to finish my morning chores before going to office, when all my mates are snoring hard. I hate it when I for a long period of time do not get to see the beautifully lazy evenings at CIE, sitting on the tank with my friends. And so many other times.
So when do I like Work? I like it when my ever so sweet and accomodating Boss likes somethings I do. When my colleagues (only a few) make an effort to understand my world, though they do not agree with everything but for sure they do not dump it as trash. I also love it when I feel responsible and important.
But yah I hate it when I end up in mistakes and very recently I behaved very careless. But then that much happens with everyone.
What is my biggest concern, how long will I be able to sustain myself in this, without getting bored?
how long will I e able to survive with this uni dimensional life, where nothing else seems to exist but work?
how long will I be able to live without ACADEMICS?
and there all my hopes crash....can you hear them falling down..all dhadaaam ...dhuuuuuuuum
Lets see!
P.S-now I understand people like Mizfit, who ever so fervently post on blogs regularly. Sad to admit but this seems to be the only way out. (atleast to me right now)
Friday, May 12, 2006
this Is for All my Male Readers!
This Post is also for all those who are disgusted by the word "feminism".
This way I am also letting you deceide whether you want to read this or not...
This is a lilttle bit of information on about what feminism is not
1. Feminism to start with is not all/only about women out with lathis on the road, bashing up men at every opprtunity.
2. Feminism is also not exclusive of housewives and women who are introvert, non-modern rather traditional.
3. Feminism is also not only about women smoking and drinking.
4. Feminism is not just about "bra burning"
5. Feminism is not synonymous to not understanding things and making an issue out of it all the time.
6. Feminism is not inconsiderate.
and perhaps Feminism should not be a thing of the upper class/ caste women.
Feminism is a better way of living for women!
This and much much more human is feminism!
hope it helps all those who misunderstand it and me too.
Amen!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
On One fine Day When a Girl decides to Wear a Slightly Tight Red T- Shirt With A Slightly Low neck...
so one fine sunny morning I choose to wear a tight, low neck red top...I take the mmts from begumpet to seetafalmandi...as fate has it I after no so much of a search get a seat just in front of a not so good looking guy/man. A adjust myself at the joy of not having missed the train and having got a seat. And what do i spot next...this gentle-man was gently staring at my breasts, which unlike on normal days were a bit prominent becoz of the lovely red top(so I thought). With slight discomfort I start staring back at the man, and this helps cause he shifts his stare somwhere else, which came back everynow and then to my red breasts, yet atleast some relief. Happy at my success i turn my face to the other side where another man has hoisted himself. Actually the whole compartment looked empty but this man chose the space right next to my seat and stood there.
now ask what the hell he can stand there atleast he wasn't staring...so I thought. But this man had a better position as from top my breasts had a better view...don forget i was wearing a low cut dress. I get back tomy defense and stare at him with disgust...helps again he turns his head away...i smile and find the other man staring at them once again...i stare back...n turn back...the other man was peeping...i stare back....he turns his head away...ufff...that was some turning and staring i tell you.
I franatically express my discomfort and disgust to other co-passengers (men mostly n women too) hoping for some rescue...
and what do I get...more hatefull glances...which clearly indicated that they all were cursing ....ME for wearing such a dress that invited men's attention...hah! poor me sit guiltly till seetafalmandi and jump out of the train. after a long sad and lonely walk which attracted some male attention i enter my campus and meet two of my friends at the gate...and guess what do they tell me...
hey woman looking wonderful in this RED TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaah ! I lOVE THIS PLACE.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
My SOS !
Though I do not need to introduce him, still he is one of the most wonderful and pretty person one comes across in CIEFl. I know many will disagree, but this post is supposed to be a personal post, so who cares.
As I have already mentioned a speck of what Premankur is to me in my last post, and now there is this whole post only for him.
I began with kindda disliking him. And now I am so in love with him. I have no idea how I began valuing him so much. Its amazing the way I end up going to him whenever i am hurt or upset about something, ever since my first semester here. And he was always there to listen to my at times non-sensical complains. Even today its him I go to whenever I feel low. Somehow he seems to have some medicine for all my problems. And having spoken to him I always come back satisfied, with a better sense of my problems.
Actually I didn't want to say all this prem, I just wanted to say thanks and that I love you so so so much. Thanks for being there sweetheart.
Now is it this parting getting on to me. But we will be together won we?
Now did I embarass you?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
ok finally i get back to this page!!!!!!!!
that apart, its been a time of departure...
today one of our batch mates left, not that i was really friends with him or something, but his going somehow reminded me of so many goodbyes that will come along with this coming month...
it will so painful i feel, but just the next moment i feel that won matter much to me i will be here anyways...
but no more arun to wait for, no more prem's room for a break when i am tiered of my own room or when i am bugged with the male friends around n their stupid behaviour, no more of my going religiously to abhijit's room. no more of those post classroom addas on the tank...nothing of it...
n when we come back to this place it will be like strangers I know. Sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, April 07, 2006
in my failed attempts I once again succumb to something that threatens and yet glares at my face!
When I was born, they looked at me and said: 'What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy!' And when you were born, they looked at you and said: 'What a sweet girl, what a beautiful girl, what a pretty girl!'"
"What A Good Boy," The Barenaked Ladies.
. What remains my concern in this paper is to try to figure out the ways in which these magazines in the process of constructing a stereotypical masculine identity, continue to relegate women to the background and, in doing so, are examples of social backlash directed against specific gains made by women in the paid labor force, mass media industries and other professions. It is true that it is no coincidence that as women are achieving greater social, political and professional equality, these magazines symbolically relegate them to subordinate positions as sex objects and objects of recreation for men. And it is also true when we often complain that the pressure put on women through ads, television, film and new media to be sexually attractive—and sexually active—is profound, more perhaps today than on any other times. Is it then to say that women who have now begun realizing their potential, which for long had been suppressed, are threatening the long and well preserved superior subject positions occupied by men? This is however not to say that Men’s magazines deliberately and visibly try to undermine the gains made by women, yet to suggest that the way in which a woman appears in these magazines through there articles and their advertisements is such that the only aspect of her that can be highlighted is nothing but her body and her intelligence is often made fun of. There are recurrent articles in Man’s World about how 10 famous men in
and most importantly, how they handle women etc.
What is interesting however in these magazines is that they take women to be this object available to be seduced by good looks and manners of men. The tone of the magazine especially in its ‘Dr. Know’ (a section that deals with the problems the readers ask) is such that it relegates women to this inferior objectified level. The tone in this section is always filled with sarcasm with this assumed cool attitude towards life, and a kind of rhetoric that is filled with wit and humour which never answers questions in a serious, responsible direct way.Whereas in a women’s magazine the problems whatever it may be is invariably dealt with more seriousness and concern even when the question is from a man. What can be the reason for such a wide difference in the treatment of almost the same issues? Here comes the question of stereotypes as in why do the men’s magazines mostly have this kind of a comic approach to questions relating to the private realm? Has it something to do with the fact of creating stereotypical identities of masculinity and feminity which exist in society – to say a silly, emotional, infantile female who needs to discuss such matter of fact things as against a more mature man who does not need such advices.Just have randomly selected few paragraphs of my paper on 'stereotypes in magazines'. there is much more that i want to think about the same, but i will it here abruptly.
Friday, March 31, 2006
ok this is dedicated to the new art of CCp'ying that i recently learnt.
Arunlekha Sengupta: lenguptaooking at cartoons
bunny: k
Arunlekha Sengupta: will also do a pp presentation i think
bunny: me too at magazines
Arunlekha Sengupta: so we will need a projector on thursday
Arunlekha Sengupta: should tell rekha
bunny: yah
bunny: i think m slowly catching up with ur talents of ccpy'ing
Arunlekha Sengupta: GOOD DTUFF
Arunlekha Sengupta: HAPPY TO HAVE INSPIRED YOU
bunny: (there was a smiley here don know why it didn't come here)
bunny: yah sure
bunny: all bows to the Goddess of CCp who finally showered her blessings on me
bunny:
Arunlekha Sengupta: hmmmmm
Arunlekha Sengupta: may you not have to use even a word of your own
bunny: i have succeeded in cpying 1 page
bunny: with your blessings i tread on this path
Arunlekha Sengupta:
Arunlekha Sengupta: aashirwaad
p.s- so this what we do, we chat with each other, we meet n so talk again, we write scraps each other in orkut so we end up talking again, we comment on each others blogs so cannot avoid entering a discussion again, we at times fight for each other in other people's blogs, and at times like these we end up posting our conversations also....now do we bore anybody???????
It's a real, real, real Bad Poem and i choose to write it in RED!
am
a girl
who wears a pearl
who-
imagines her life to be in a swirl.
my
mother
is a woman
she is not a demon
yet-
she insists on guarding my hymen.
my
father
is a man
who eats from the pan
and-
helps my mother execute the ban.
now is it not baaaaaaaaaaad?
sorry UG couldn't resist posting it, and with you pestering me for new posts :(
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
it's been nothing for long so here itis...
of crossroads
understands
the games we play
stiching the lanes
like rivers
till it reaches
the old man
who paints them
in the love of
black women
singing songs
and dancing
the primitive dance
on age old
rythms
rythms of the
ancient drums...
the hindi will go something like this
chauraste(crossroads) ka ishwar
boojhta
har khel
jo galiyan khelti
mod par baithe budhe ke sath
wah,
jo rachta
pura shahar
jahan
kali auratein
gati sohar ke geet (songs sung during n after the birth of a child)
mridang ki dhaak(rythm) par
aur nachti
prem mein mugdh
bihad nach...
Friday, March 17, 2006
Games we play!!!
The vanity sometimes comes through, and then the long cherished, nurtured façade is over. All that can be seen is barely the minimum, all the animal instincts resurface, and you are left cursing all that broke the façade.
All that you loved seems to be a game that u played all along to keep up the pretence. All that was beautiful within takes an ugly deformed shape, and when you look at it, your filthy face stares at you from beneath that piece of rotten shit.
Wonder was that this that you so long protected and held on to…was it really this. The shock slowly melts away into oblivion and once again the façade emerges, this time only more glamorous. And yet again the games we played all along begins. Just that you don’t know when it will show the ugliness within…
wonder why I wrote this at all?
Monday, March 13, 2006
Missing my Dad.
Neend aur nashe ke beech
kahin ek patli si gali hai
jahan
apni mutthi bhar neend
aur
chutki bhar aaram
ki khatir
mein chup chap pada rehta hun
(after this I don remember so I will continue...)
door kamron se awaaj sunte
ma akele niptati hai
sansarik pareshaniya
wah janti hai
mein aana chata hun
aur isliye nibhati hai
wah sab jo hame sath karna tay tha
mein apne ghosle mein chahta hun
uska sahas
aur uska hona
meri zindagi mein...
I guess Dad won't object to this. Amazing how much I know him, that I can even write the way he would have written. Miss you.
and I will not translate it now, cause its for me and for him that I wrote this.
Friday, March 10, 2006
its rains and destiny for me...
barish ki us shaam
jab chataa pakde
wah ladki
kar rahi hai par sadak
tab us samay
mein bhool rahi hun
apna paitrik ghar
yaad karte hue use
jahan
chote chote ghadon mein
chote chote dukhon ki tarah
bhar gaya hai pani...
ok sorry to all those who cannot read it, but I couldn't just resist writing it.ok will try translating it
in that rainy evening
when I see this girl
crossing the road
with an umbrella
I think
of my ancestral home
where
small sorrows
get collected
in small (earthen) pots
like drops of rain water...
now those who understand both the languages, is it close enough?
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
doesn't take time to be happy again!
"bhaiya yahan pas mein hi" (just near by), and the good suol agreed to drop me till the campus,
the best part of the story is since it was a very short distance when I asked him for how much I needed to pay him, he said,
"rehne do amma" (let it be)
wasn't that really really good on his part.
and I was so happy since just before I was feeling miserable for what all had happened in the past few days.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Disappointment and Disillusionment....
I am scared to write and express, because everywhere people seem to be misunderstanding or perhaps wanting to misuderstand.
personal disappointment apart.
'power' I guess is the crucial element. Is it human nature to misuse it. Though Levis Strauss(hope ve spelt it correctly) in his thesis of nurturing and celebrating the natural instincts talks about in his study of south african communities and how the influence of the west ruins their community by introducing the concept of 'rule' and 'power', yet does he not realize that it existe all along, ever since communities existed? Funny that he does not see the whole system of one person heading the community, the king as such in itself excersices dominance of one over the other. how does he explain the system of a son taking after the father king, is it not a fear of losing 'power' that initiates such a rule.
guess I am incoherent. Why not...
hey l>t call this the author is wasted and I promise I will not argue...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
my reading of Derrida's Right to Philosophy...
In the very beginning I would like to define the term philosophy, because it is one of the terms around which the argument revolves through out the essay. The term philosophy derives from a combination of the Greek words ‘philos’ meaning love and ‘sophia’ meaning wisdom, therefore the word comes to mean ‘love for wisdom’. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the original meaning of the word encompasses all kinds of knowledge. Over time, however it gained the more specialized meaning of knowledge of the world, as contrasted with knowledge of the divine. For example, science was originally called "natural philosophy". Today, the word refers to the study of ultimate reality and the most general causes and principles of reality. Philosophy in the present context of Eurocentric definitions begins where the universal is comprehended as the all-embracing existence, or where the existent is laid hold of in a universal form, and where thinking about thought first commences.
And we clearly see from its definitions that it certainly did not begin in the East, because in the Eastern philosophy, definitely Mind indeed begins to dawn, but it is still true of it that the subject is not presented as a person as something absolutely concrete, but appears in the objectively substantial, which is represented as partly super-sensuous and partly, and even more, material, which is seen as negative. The conclusion to be derived from this is that no philosophic knowledge can be found here. To Philosophy belongs the knowledge of Substance, the knowledge absolute the Universal. The Eastern form must and has been therefore excluded from the History of Philosophy.
-One, is that of the right to philosophy, and the space, the platform where it can be discussed.
-Two, he asks philosophers to not take it for granted rather question the a priori philosophical mode of being of the institutes like the UNESCO. It is important to question the reasons for the existence of such institutes. He of course cites the reason Kant gives for the set up of these institutions of peace, yet he has his own reservations in accepting it.
-Three he refutes Kant’s notion of a universal, which Kant says after much struggle becomes a fact. For him the element of Universal is a problem in History and Philosophy.
“…Nature makes use of a detour of violence and of primitive, thus natural, unsociability in order to aid reason and thereby put philosophy into operation through the society of nations…”
Derrida explains and extends Kant’s notion of the ‘novel’ in philosophy, as something which does not agree/ accept the universality in philosophy, but Derrida rather suggests that this hope for a universal history/ philosophy is infact like a novel. Because this universalization brings in with itself elements of fiction, as it is nothing other than a gross assumption on behalf of the nations who had not been able to voice themselves.
Derrida then goes on to explain how realizing this danger, of philosophy turning to literature, Kant resorts to idealize the European philosophy and history, holding on to the thread of European history of reason and the Greco-Roman history of history. Derrida all this while argues for a Cosmo-political space for philosophy, but Kant’s resolution of the matter only fixes this Cosmo-political space in the hegemony of
Towards the end of the essay he makes certain arguments for the various problems that need to be encountered in order to develop the Cosmo-political point of view to the right to philosophy. The three main hindrances that need to be tackled are related to the hegemony created by the existing models of philosophy. For him it is necessary to first take into account the various philosophies arising out of various nations. It also becomes important for one to take into account the two given models of
Extending the argument further he says, that with the superlative models already available there is a dominance of the respective languages that has come to set in with them, and it is necessary for one to surpass this barrier and the authority language has come to achieve in the discipline of philosophy. Because philosophy cannot be restricted to the structures of language. But the very fact becomes important that with different idioms in play one gets open to different ideas.
And lastly he appeals for institutionalizing all possible philosophies, blurring the edges of nation, language, style etc. because ultimately it is through education and institutions that there is acceptance of things that are new and important. One needs to validate and accept the Eastern philosophies with it having equal heritage.
Derrida claims that what is happening at the present times is an attempt at deconstruction of the existing hegemony, and only with this can there be an emergence of the Cosmo-political philosophy which speaks also in non-European languages. As he says,
“…Not only are there other ways of philosophy, but philosophy, if there is any such thing, is the other way.”
It is true that philosophy cannot be explained tracing it back to anyone origin or memory, one in order to have a Cosmo-political platform for Philosophy, which is the need of the time, needs to amalgamate all the philosophies, only then is there any possible justice to the discipline of Philosophy as such, only then one can begin to create a platform that is available for a discussion of ‘The Right to Philosophy.’
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
this is for Big Mouth!
do I really want to say something?
guess this will make me going for now.
P.S. this is not true for his deconstruction essays though.All thanks to my Prof. or to the beginners guide to derrida I beleive.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Me my Friends and my ...
had a wonderful time though. Had planned to write a chapter for my dissertation and what however happened was not at all bad.
danced like crazy, drank like a sponge.
hey guess am still reeling with last nights fun.
my good self: partying too much huh!
me: not all that much, come on.
my good self: next will be when, tomorrow?
me: no no no, atleast a fortnight now.
my good self: yah right! high hopes.
me: smiles sheepishly. grin.
lets see then!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Let'sBargain!
will continue later...
Monday, February 06, 2006
my keyboard is fucked with rum...
finally back in campus. The feel of ur room, your bed n your blanket is wonderful after a painful journey which is cold, where people do not care for the co-passengers n talk at a volume fit for a night club with music cannonading your ears. To top it all the light glares at your tiered,sleepy eyes.
happy to be back at last!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
it really is funny...
poor thing when we went to see him he was busy applying toothpaste on his burnt skin.
No prizes for guessing but still would be fun if any one could hit the bulls eye at the first try...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
back
To add to it I have completly changed my dissertation topic. Gosh! now will have to start from the scratch.
anyways, work needs to be done, and to make it worse lots of it needs to be done...
May God be with me this sem...
aaaaarggggghhhhhhhhh!