Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Madness

I am a very competitive person.
I believe in finding every opportunity & grabbing it by the head.
I believe people have to find their own paths & follow it at their own pace, no one is going to hand it over to them.
I believe, non-performers should be given their bit.
I believe non-performers know that are not performing & a bad rating or review, should not take them by surprise. If it does, then something more than what you think is wrong.
I believe hard-work with excellence makes a terrific combination for success & reward.


After having said all that, I also admit that I am getting tired of the the pressure to perform, constantly & every breathing moment of my work life. I have been one of the good performers & I believe my company takes me as one of the many assets it has working for them. But with every passing day, I am getting breathless by the mad frenzy that I am getting into to out-perform. I have always gotten things by working hard for it (just in my office context)& therefore, I know that if I stop competing & out-proving myself, success would be lost on its way to me. I have done this for the past three & a half years that I have worked, & now suddenly I feel what a heavy burden it is do continue to do so on an everyday basis. Frankly, at this point I almost feel like everyone around, including me is scrambling. It would have been easier if people followed the work they have been given but then it would almost feel like working in a govt. organization, with no one taking initiatives, no one to look up to, etc. But seriously, it almost feels like a task now, when I am lil up on the ladder to come up with something more than just my core job, as I have already covered the smaller initiatives, I could have taken in the past three years. Now, its all the more difficult to keep up the pace at which I have performed. To add to all that, I have moved to something totally new & I am still grappling with it. To even be able to think of something to improve or add to seems herculean. I wish, I was capable of taking out a cat or better even a rabbit out of my hat, cause I constantly feel that is what is expected of me. The constant stare, (may be imaginary) is making me loose my calm, & the heat only adds to the feeling.


I am jittery, I am fumbling, I am under pressure, the only thing lacking is I am not being over-worked, as I am in training. End of it all, I think I am getting burnt out & frustrated. It is not even helping taking it slow & one step at a time. I am not cribbing really about the way corporate works, I liked it up-till a point, but now, it is adding to my frustration - the constant pressure to perform. Why can't it sometimes be enough to just do a good job & the day ends happily there????

21 comments:

Sowmya Rame Gowda said...

Hi friend I liked ur blog

Unknown said...

@self employee - thanks...I hope it entertains you in the future.

Anonymous said...

It's Begun love...beginning of the end.

KOLLURI RAMESH A.K.A STALIN said...

Been following ur blog for a while and I would say that I throughly enjoy it.

Regarding the present post wht u have said it quite true, it is really a mad world only running to out-perform each other and making them robots rather than trying to put creativity and make people happy abt something.

"There’s no place like home" said...

hey...good blog... i have been going through the same..from past three years... it's all about success.

good one.... thanks...

Priya Saini said...

u read my mind...but guess coz we're on the same team ;P

Unknown said...

@Kolluri - thanks for your appreciation. I am happy you enjoy reading my blog. I am trying to be more regular with it though. Hopefully, should keep you occupied :). Also, I think I do not agree with the creativity bit you said, frankly, as Archana says, its all about success. You can combine success very well with creativity, but what is killing us is the race for success not lack of creativity.

Runa said...

@Archana - it feels good to have company then :)

@ rantster - tell me about it yaar..I am just getting sick of it by the minute.

Runa said...

@ Anon - why do you need to comment Anon, O Anon!

myriadmind said...

IMO u can just slack a bit and take the backlash, maybe that will reignite ur zeal for success. Albeit the only thing that might get u out of this rut is something expected soon.
But then maybe for u its not soon enough?

Runa said...

@Myriadmind - yah may be taking the backseat might help. Also, linking any & every emotion of mine to the one thing is a bit too far-fetched...unless desperation has new heights.

KOLLURI RAMESH A.K.A STALIN said...

@Runa...
Well I am trying to keep myself occupied with my blog and also reading ur blog...and can say that it is a gud relaxation thing to take out all the energy on the blog and become refreshed.

Anonymous said...

this is said by the poeple madness but the reality of world is this.

Thanks

Rebuilt Engine

Rebuilt Engine says:
“Interesting post, we shall be following your blog more closely in future! Best Wishes ”

Runa said...

@Sachin - yah well said...its just when frustrated you call it madness, when you liking your work you call it something else...human nature i guess.

Thanks. I am happy you liked my blog.

Saurabh said...

This sounds like my own story, in fact mine is even worse.
Not only I have to do these appraisals and listen to the non-performer's crap about not being fair, but also my appraiser is being accused that she has given me the highest rating whereas I was sitting doing nothing past half year, and they were the only people working in the team.

And then there is bonus.. I do not get any better opportunities because I am so excellent at what I do right now, and they would they find one better than me, and they expect that without any expectations and motivations, I outperform each and every time.

Wow!! I Love my Job!! :(
Its a quicksand everywhere I guess.

Sorry Bunny Di for such a long comment. Probably should have posted it on my own blog. :P But senti insaan kare bhi to kya... :)

Runa said...

@Saurabh - hey its ok...no problems with long comments...I hear you is all I can say...hope it gets better for you...like it has for me :)

Unknown said...

Outsource is provide good facility to ladies staff in the office.

kpo

rnd technologies said...

Your view is too good.

Travel directories said...

Thank you for your great post. This blog is great.

Unknown said...

Loan offer Do you need an urgent loan? Do you need a quick long or short term loan with a relatively low interest rate as low as 3%? We offer business loan, personal loan, home loan, auto loan,student loan, debt consolidation loan e.t.c. no matter your credit score. We are guaranteed in giving out financial services to our numerous clients all over world. With our flexible lending packages, loans can be processed and transferred to the borrower within the shortest time possible, contact our specialist for advice and finance planning. If you need a quick loan contact us via Email: ghalibsolution@gmail.com

OFFER said...

Invest with 400$ and get a returns of 10,000$ within seven business working days.Why wasting your precious time online looking for a loan? When there is an opportunity for you to invest with 400$ and get a returns of 10,000$ within seven business working days. Contact us now for more information if interested on how you can earn big with just little amount. This is all about investing into Crude Oil and Gas Business.

Email: investmoneyoilgasfast@gmail.com