A Jealous Snake

I sit on my window sill
and see the children
laughing and playing
I see their smiling faces,
their merry lives,
and I writhe in pain...

Why could I not be
Happy
Alive
and More...


But Instead,
I crawl slow,
very slow.
Like a jealous snake
on a window sill...

No Title Apt For This...

There is no real reason to write, nothing at all. But perhaps, after reading Premankur's eloquent posts, I want to write something even an ounce as good as he does.

May be I cannot. Writing rests as a forgotten memory which you remember only when you chance to come across some old picture of yours in an old, ragged family album. You try to fondle the memory by talking about it. You may even try to remember the names of all those captured in that memory. Sometimes, if leisure permits, you will try imitating the expressions lost and forgotten. But the end of it all is that you dust the album and shove it right back towards that end of the almirah where yours eyes hardly reach.

Sometimes, I wish I was in a city as quaint as Raigarh or atleast Kolkata. But then, I know people think it is merely an excuse to hide your inability to write. Perhaps, I should atleast begin to admit it...

Amidst the Blue Sky & A Yellow bird

Pikpik, the yellow bird sat gathering the sunny delight of the afternoon. Hopping from one branch to another, she was oblivious that two people were talking about it. The happy yellow bird, underneath the blue sky...

I Don't know...

Sometimes, its very difficult to realize why you are feeling the way you are. There is no justification. In the sense, the recent past events have nothing happening in it to explain your present emotion or the way you feel. Last night, I had a wonderful time with friends, who selflessly indulge me, and yet the morning made me sad. Waking up today, I had this empty feeling in my heart, so empty that it aches of nothingness. 

Hollow,

every morning,

the world becomes a vacuum 

and my heart sucks into the emptiness.

Delighted, it sings songs of misery

Relishes every drop of sad melody

till it can take no more...

no more of what I see

cracked-up faces smiling, false smiles

Social niceties traumatize me

and I see them basking in it

I feel lonely and alienated

Is this how it was supposed to be?

I was supposed to live a happy life

and not get sucked and consumed

by the rest...

It ain't A Game to be Over in a Jiffy...

Life isn't a game that you stop it as and when you like. It is life, you ought to give warnings, warnings, and more of it before you decide to stop. Cruel and unannounced, that can't be the way. No more, I say. 

Death isn't a gift that you just give to someone, without their asking for it. I ask of you to give us a gentle tap, remind us of our time, so we bid adieu. Give us the chance to mend our mistakes, and see lifefull of our loved ones, one last time. Cruel and unannounced, that can't be the way. No more, I say.

I am sorry. I never meant to hurt, but I did. Somewhere, within, I feel, we weren't supposed to be the way we were with each other. We loved, that's all we did. I am sure we did, somewhere deep within, but it got all overshadowed. This time when I meet, I will give you the strangest hug, that will clear out all that was never said, and all that I want to say right now.

Is it Time Yet?

Is it time yet
to play mind games?

It never is perhaps
but yet we do it
incessantly...
I forget all that was Me
And start the game
yet again. This time
I want to learn to cheat lives...
Friends offer generously
So much that I forget it is a game
Perhaps it is...
It is time to go back to what I was
to start and never go back to where it all began...